Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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