if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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