Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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