how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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