p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
