we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
try to milk me bitch
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize