My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
