You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
