he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
