You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
