I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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