Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
