I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
