i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
