If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
