i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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