woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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