She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
