She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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