My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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