I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
