I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
