I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
