Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
