So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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