i just wanna soil my oats bro
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
