Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize