No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
