her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
two words: eviction party
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
