What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
