i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
