I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
