omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
