Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
just found out that she named her cat after me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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