so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
