I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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