No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
