dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
