HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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