Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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