playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
