and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
