she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
