My first STD was from a foam party
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We need to rekindle our bromance
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
