i already hear my dad disowning me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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