My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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