I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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