i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
