sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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