There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
