your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I need a beard to bite.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
