He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
