Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
