left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she told me i tasted like america
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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