U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
