Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
