We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
