I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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