Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
