I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
