Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
