I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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