hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
