Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
