Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize