I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
