This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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