C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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