You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
