ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
