fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
