we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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