yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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