You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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